When is a test not a test? Apparently it’s always a test now. If you’re sitting at home minding your own business and they post you a test kit – you’ve been tested. The government has changed the definition of a test from – a test carried out, analysed and results posted – to just the first and last words “test” and “posted”.
It’s a week now since I closed the front door on the world. Since then I’ve contended with a burgeoning headache and a slowly escalating panic. Every cough brings with it a worry that this is it, I’m going to end my days sat between these four walls wondering where the hell I put the can opener.
Rationalising the headache, it’s probably a combination of my tinnitus, which has been in a particularly vengeful mood, constantly Tweeting and Facebooking on my phone and the stress of having very little to do other than tidy up (again), make meals and act as my own tech support, which carries its own particular stresses.
